Good morning, beauty! Are you hating on yourself?
Have a little compassion for yourself.
If you’re like many mamas, you say some pretty awful things to yourself on a regular basis. You may say things to you that you would never say to another person. “I can’t believe you fed them that!” “You’re the worst mother in this class!” “Jeeze, nice over-share, you freakazoid.” (I have said two out of three of those sentences in the last 12 hours. I have said that last one probably twice in the last 6.)
What is it about yourself that makes you think it’s okay to be so unkind?
Take some time to think about your flaws and imperfections. Yes, I know, if you’re like many people you’re probably aces at zeroing in on your perceived flaws and imperfections. But today, try to look at them as you would if you were looking at someone else. How bad would your flaws be if they belonged to a friend instead of you? What if your flaws belonged to your sweet little kid?
We don’t judge little kids for being impulsive and moody sometimes. We don’t look at a little kid dancing and think, “You’re just BAD. Go home and practice until you know what you’re doing.” No, we don’t. It’s impossible to watch a little kid dance in that grinning, swinging elbows, and shaking booty way they have, without smiling. But we say these things, and worse, to ourselves.
Do we really need to view ourselves so harshly? What happens when you look at yourself with the same kindness and courtesy that you would show someone else? When you do that you make space to forgive yourself for your flaws. Not one of us is perfect and yet so often we hate on ourselves for being human. Let’s hold ourselves with compassion and put an end to the negative judgments and the mean names. It takes a lot of practice to undo our self-criticisms but it is so worth it.
Kirsten Quint Fairbanks is health coach and holistic living expert who loves offering real-world holistic coaching for mamas who want to consciously cultivate big lives that get them totally fired up. Kirsten lives happily, works gratefully, dances inexpertly, paints badly, cooks traditionally, and rocks a tiny homeschool in the San Francisco Bay Area. She believes that connection can change your life. Read more about her here.