Category Archives: and Babies

Three Ways to Hit “Reset” on a Bad Day

mommiedearest reset a bad dayIt’s 10am and your day is not improving. You woke up to last night’s dishes in the sink (don’t you have an agreement that when one of you cooks, the other one cleans?). The kids are whiny and hangry and your partner hasn’t texted you back about that Really Important Thing you texted about three hours ago. You feel frustrated, alone, and ready to scream Mommie Dearest-style that you’ll cut the next person who has the nerve to ask you for something.

Slow down, mama. You don’t have to lose your cool. You can reset this day to move on to happier things AND model for your kids how to deal with stress and disappointment in a healthy and productive way. Win-win!

Here are three of my favorite ways to hit Reset on a bad day:

1. Get outside and into the sunlight. This is a great reset for stressed-out mamas and cooped-up kids alike. Getting into the sun for a little walk gives you crucial Vitamin D, raises your happiness hormones, improves immune system function, and reminds you that you are part of the living world and not just dusty furniture in your living room Island of Isolation. When everything else fails, get outside.

2. Sing out. Instead of yelling at your kids, say it with song. Try a silly operatic trill, or belt out a soulful blues number. “So-faaaaaaaaas! are for booooooooootaaaaaaaaays,” I will sing to my kids in my best R&B diva voice when I’ve asked too many times for the monkeys to stop jumping and I feel my yell coming on. Singing to them this way confuses them into stopping what they are doing (jumping on my couch like wild people), and it signals my brain that we’re not in a crisis situation that will only be solved if I commence screaming in 5-4-3… (My brain was raised by parents who screamed. Left to its own devices it would make some silly, misguided decisions sometimes.)

And if you’ve already started yelling and the day is looking grim, it’s time to call in the big guns:

3. Paging Captain Do-over! This is a code word my kids and I use when things have gotten out of hand, voices and words are unkind, and we need to get back to the present moment and remember that we actually like each other. “Captain Do-over!” we yell and almost immediately we stop grouching and fall into a hug. It takes a couple of seconds to feel that calm, safe, feeling of oxytocin flooding our system (mmmm, sweet bonding hormone we get from hugging and smelling kid heads)  and then we can start the process of repair. For the yelling mama, this is a great time to apologize and start over. I’ll say, “I’m sorry I spoke so rudely to you. I was feeling stressed out. What I meant to say was that sofas are for booties and I’d like you to sit quietly and read for a few minutes. Will you please do that? And then we can go outside and run around and get our energy out? Great! I love you. I’m sorry I yelled. You are so special to me.”

They will often start bouncing again, or doing some other annoying thing until we get dressed and out the door to get some sun and start our day. But at least we have all calmed down and I’ve taken responsibility for stopping the bad day before it gets too out of hand. When things are calm and the mood is good, I’m better able to deal with the little stresses: the whining kids, the non-responsive husband, the pile of dishes. They still annoy me but they don’t have to hijack my day– or my kids’.

Want more support dealing with the stress and isolation of motherhood? Get in touch, mama!

Kirsten Quint Fairbanks is health coach and holistic living expert who loves offering real-world holistic coaching for mamas who want to consciously cultivate big lives that get them totally fired up.  Kirsten lives happily, works gratefully, dances inexpertly, paints badly, cooks traditionally, and rocks a tiny homeschool in the San Francisco Bay Area.  She believes that connection can change your life.   Read more about her here.


It Takes a Village: Online Moms Groups Forming




New Moms’ Online Support Groups are now forming for January 2015.

Motherhood is a job that comes without training, and it often comes without the support that new and even seasoned moms need to really flourish. The demands and fluctuating roles of women and mothers can be so hard to balance. You nurture your partner, your kids, your career, your community. Chances are you are focusing on everyone else first. And then there are all the worries and doubts. Do you worry that you are you a “bad mom” for taking time for yourself? Or feel you are losing yourself in family? Are you having a hard time balancing work and kids? Or a stay at home mom who is all stressed up with nowhere to go?

I can help you learn tools and mindset skills for prioritizing your own wellness, getting closer and more fun relationships with your partner and kids, and getting a handle on your daily routines.




Who: New moms and veteran moms. First-time moms and any mom with kids under 18. We’re all in this together.

When and how: This online mentoring and support group meets on once a week at the time that works best for you.  Thursdays 6:30-8pm or Thursdays 8:30-10pm or Saturdays 8am-10:30am.

Our group will meet for 8 weeks beginning January 22nd. You will need phone, a Gmail account and time set aside to call in each week. That’s it!

What’s included: Every week we will start with a check-in and group share. Then we’ll dive into the week’s topic. These may include:

  • Myths of motherhood
  • Common parenting pitfalls that no one tells you about- and how to avoid them
  • Positive parenting skills
  • Simple mama mindfulness
  • Navigating parenting decisions when your beliefs are different from those of the people around you.
  • Carving out “you” time, and…
  • …nourishing creativity, body, and spirit when you get it.
  • Healthy foods your family will actually eat- without being a slave to your kitchen.
  • Support for your changing hormones, changing status, changing feelings, changing body.


Group cost and details:  $25 a week, paid by the month with a two month commitment.  Group starts on January  22nd 2015 and will run for 8 weeks. There is space for up to 8 participants in each group.


About your coach: Kirsten Quint Fairbanks is a Certified Health Coach, Certified Holistic Life Coach, and Licensed Holistic Skincare Therapist living and working in Alameda, California. She’s a wife of 10 years, and mom to a homeschooled 1st grader and a home-birthed baby.  She brings additional knowledge from her training as a labor- and postpartum doula, and her in-progress training as a childbirth prep educator. Kirsten’s clients appreciate her warm and non-judgmental approach to helping new moms in particular navigate the sometimes-choppy waters of parenting.

Space is limited to 8. Contact Kirsten to reserve your spot. Let’s build a village together!



Wiggle, Jiggle, Glow

better yet, let's eat jell-o

better yet, let’s eat jell-o

(This post was originally published here.)
Let’s talk about  dermal fillers.
Better yet, let’s talk about soup. And Jello.
Last year I read a book called Deep Nutrition, Why Your Genes Need Traditional Food, by Catherine Shanahan MD and Luke Shanahan. Read my thoughts about it here.
Here’s Dr. Cate on mineral-rich soup stocks for skin:
“The highest quality skin care products contain the collagen-building ingredients your skin needs to restore itself. Even skeptical doctors agree that regular use of these expensive products can have impressive results.  However, skincare expert Dr. Dennis Gross, MD warns that it’s not an overnight solution.  “It takes time, molecule by molecule, to build collagen fibers.” Dermatologists advise patience and regular application to get anti-wrinkle creams in contact with skin as much as possible.  Why not also feed your skin from the inside?
If a cream containing two or three collagen-building nutrients can help your skin, imagine how effectively you could nourish and rebuild your dermal collagen if you ate a meal containing dozens of dermal growth factors. The nutrients in bone stocks switch the genes for collagen manufacture to “on.”  This effect is magnified by vitamins A, D, E and C, and a few common minerals.  Whether in a skin cream or your soup bowl, the same natural ingredients help you look young. But when you ingest them, you infuse all the layers of your skin, and all the other tissues in your body, with rejuvenating nutrients. “
According to Weston A. Price Foundation President and prominent nutrition researcher Sally Fallon Morrell, stock not only contains gelatin, it has “minerals in a form the body can absorb easily—not just calcium but also magnesium, phosphorus, silicon, sulphur and trace minerals. It contains the broken down material from cartilage and tendons–stuff like chondroitin sulphates and glucosamine, now sold as expensive supplements for arthritis and joint pain.”
Now, I will admit to being a regular consumer of that broken down material from cartilage and tendon. I take daily hyaluronic acid and silicon supplements for the health and hydration of my skin. They’re not cheap but they and a good skin care regimen work well to decrease the giant chasm that too many years of refusing to wear glasses has etched deep between my brows.  Still, nutrients from real food are always best since they work together synergistically in a way that isolated supplements never can. For the health of my skin, my hair, my digestion, and my overall body, I make and consume many quarts of mineral-rich, nutrient-dense, and delicious broth every week, for soup broth and as the base for sauces.  I also channel Betty Draper and make a great big jello-mold every week for snacks and kid lunches. Yes, gelatin is just powdered bone broth, without the savory flavor. And it’s actually a health food.
A good gelatin makes beautiful, smooth, cellulite-free skin.  It’s one of my favorite “beauty treatments” and it’s easy as can be.

My recipe is over here.  What are your favorite “beauty foodie” staples?

It’s Official!


a sentimental one of this babe who is 10 months old already

Hello friends,

After a long and very lovely maternity leave, I’m finally feeling the pull to come back to work. Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be moving into and decorating a sweet little space (with parking) here in the East Bay. I’ll start taking appointments for late September skincare and coaching sessions starting next week. If you want to be on the interest list please send me a note. I really look forward to seeing you all and hearing what has been going on with you!


Warm wishes,





One last chance this summer to transform your health and lose your sugar cravings, stabilize mood swings, heal eczema and acne, get regular, and even lose weight in just about two weeks! I hope you’ll join the last round of this summer’s Craving-control Real Food Detox. Choose the guided program to work with me starting September 2nd, or the DIY option to start any time.

“I feel amazing, like a super hero. Who needs three cups of coffee when I have super powers?“ Lana, 34, engineer, after the Spring 2014 guided detox

Join now!

Choose your program

or click here to learn more. I hope to “see you” there!


Kirsten Quint Fairbanks is health coach and holistic living expert who offers real-world wellness coaching  for people who want to beat the blues and build self-esteem using nutrition and holistic lifestyle methods. She also offers skincare from the inside out consultation for anyone who is tired of the beauty hype and is ready to have vibrant health and glowing skin.  She works online and by phone. Kirsten lives happily, works gratefully, home-schools secularly, dances inexpertly, paints badly, cooks traditionally, and nurses on demand in the San Francisco Bay Area. Read more about her here.

Five Ways to Have a Healthy, Pain-free Pregnancy…at 40.


What I thought childbirth would be like

I had my son in 2008. I was lucky and conceived him with no problem at 34 years old. I’ll never forget: my acupuncturist asked me to chat with him outside the waiting room when we had finished wrapping up my session. As he walked me out to the parking lot, he had a twinkle in his eye and said, “I love telling my patients this: Go home. Today’s the day!” Continue reading